Finding the right house can be a nerve-wracking experience-are the schools good? Is it a high crime area? Can you barbeque in the nude? The right real estate agent can make the process a lot less stressful. On the other hand, the wrong realtor can turn a bad situation worse. Here are some signs that you have the wrong realtor.

• His car doubles as a pizza delivery vehicle.

• Every home she shows has a chalk outline of a body on the floor.

• When you ask to see the basement, he quickly shouts, "Wait! You'll disturb King Marcos and the rest of the gypsy tribe."

• Constantly uses the terms "hot prospect" and "fixer upper."

• Before entering the house, he insists you wear the "Crown of Chrysanthemums" to ward off any "evil spirits."

• Constantly talks to you about great opportunities with time shares in West Palm Beach.

• Utters the phrase, "Well, I think you'll have to define condemned."

• Takes you to each prospective house via city bus.

• When entering one house, says cheerfully, "Hey, the walls aren't bleeding at all today."

• Says "Hey, you know, after you move in, if you decide you don't like the house, there's always arson."