The act of moving from one domicile to the other can be so very stressful, from worries that your antique salmon serving dish will get damaged in transit to concerns about your spoon collection somehow getting misplaced. A moving company can take many of the worries out of moving, but you need to pick the right company. Here are some signs you've hired the wrong moving service:

• The movers spend the first hour on the job popping bubble wrap.

• Their slogan is "We dump anything, anywhere, day or night, no questions asked. We were never here."

• The mover is moonlighting, and he's using the van from his crematorium job.

• Instead of wrapping your valuables in bubble wrap, they're using saran wrap.

• He tries to see how many pieces of your priceless china he can keep spinning on poles, "just like they used to do on Ed Sullivan."

• The movers thank you for supporting the organization "Movers with No Sense of Depth Perception."

• The moving contract is in Dutch.

• As they're unpacking the furniture, one of the movers asks "How attached were you to your sofa?"

• They mistakenly dump your furniture on the lawn of the house across the street, leaving a note reading "The key didn't work."

• They give each other rides on the handcarts, yelling "Look, we're on Segways!"